Say "No" Without the Guilt
In prevention (and nearly any field), the temptation to say “yes” to every opportunity, request, or passion project that hits our desk is enticing. Often presented to accommodate an ask from a superior or client, there is a myriad of reasons we struggle to simply say “no” even when it’s not vital to our priorities. And, frankly, CARE so “yes” often appeals to us as a default response.
But have you ever thought about how your auto-pilot response could be less helpful? The fact of the matter is, saying “yes” to one thing means saying “no” to something else to create space.
Take a pause: When you proceed with “yes”, what is the opportunity cost of that decision?
“You always want to provide a sound reason, not an excuse, as to why you’re saying no. This helps the other person see things from your point of view and respond more rationally rather than reactively.”
– Ashira Prossack, Communication Trainer and Coach
Why do We Overuse “Yes”?
If you’re anything like me, you may tend to people-please. In fact, this is something I am still recovering from! In my case, it always comes from a good place of putting others before myself but there’s more to that story…
The truth is that wearing out your “yeses” is often creating a false sense of peace and harmony in your life and that of your peers. No one wants to be rejected when they set a boundary, right? We all fear rejection or confrontation when we set the tone for our needs.
“No” is a Boundary that Benefits Everyone
Believe it or not, a mindful “no” can favor all stakeholders and beneficiaries at play in this scenario. Boundaries “magically” create more time and energy for optimal performance while opening up space for more advanced planning and the implementation of effective strategies that stick. It also increased authentic, meaningful relationships by empowering your relationships to be free from the resentment that can spew from over-commitment.
Saying “No” Creates More “Yeses”
Overusing “yes” can spur serious professional and personal opportunity costs while practicing “no” when it fits evokes energy for more aligned activities and stronger work products. The outcome of understanding opportunity cost will often put you in the position of reaching the right people and environments that rely on your services. That was our #1 goal in the first place, right?
How to Say “No” (Without the Guilt)
There are many ways to kindly and politely decline an opportunity… Here are a few of my favorite responses that can be adjusted for nearly any situation:
“Thanks for thinking of me for this opportunity, but I can't.”
“Sorry, I have already committed to something else.
"I enjoyed helping you last time, but I am too busy to assist you right now."
“While I won’t be able to help, would love to share some helpful resources with you.”
“I can't because I need the bandwidth to support my team.”
“While I am unavailable, I would be more than happy to help you find someone else for that task.”
Keep Rockin’,
Dave
